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“Never stab a man in the back. Stare them in their eyes when you strike, that way they can die with honor,” he told me with red in his eyes.
I was too young to understand what my father meant when he said this, and I think I’m not old enough to feel the pain he then felt but I’m closer now than I was before. There are many moments in life when we are presented with two choices: act with loyalty or betray those we love. It’s never an easy decision and sometimes we don’t even recognize when it’s happening which is why it’s so important to always be honest and a straight shooter. Finding out someone you believe to be trustworthy is lurking in the shadows of deception is no easy feat to overcome. It will sting and build massive tension, so much so that it can literally cause you both physical and emotional pain.
When going about your life, establish who you are and how you interact with your loved ones in a straightforward and loyal manner. Whether you are rich or poor, no matter your background, ethnicity, creed, or religion, loyalty is one of the few things in life that is free but extremely valuable. It’s the best way to not just gain respect from others but also live a healthy and meaningful life.
Think about the last time you got into a big fight with a loved one and for some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to apologize or even accept their apology. Tension began to build, didn’t it? You became a shell of yourself—the real you began disappearing. You started following back into nasty habits like smoking, overeating and drinking too much alcohol. Your energy levels decreased leading to so much stress, anxiety, and depression that the overwhelming nature of this fight has caused literal pain to your body when it all could have been avoided with a constructive conversation.
One of the worst things you can do is manipulate those you love. It can be hard, especially since you know so much about the person, their wants and needs, but they have put their trust in you and to betray their loyalty is equally as wrong as it is selfish. You can feel it too, can’t you? That gut-wrenching feeling was like a twisting dagger.
That’s your body telling you to stop.
All this tension and built-up resentment are known to be harmful to the body. Is it the same as a broken arm or concussion? No, but stress and anxiety can lead to plenty of cardiovascular issues and other mental health problems. Every healthy relationship is built on communication and a willingness, to be honest. Without these two things, it is impossible to have a healthy connection.
For most people, the art of manipulation begins in childhood. I call it art because in a lot of ways it is. To become good at it requires practice, discipline, and an emotional response from those who are participating. It’s a sadistic game for people who don’t know how to properly resolve issues but in the long run, this is going to have serious health effects.
This probably sounds strange—how could manipulating someone actually have health consequences? For starters, these lies, and half-truths are building layers of stress and pressure which lead to very negative thoughts of yourself and even the world. It will build and build until there is an inevitable breakdown which hopefully, doesn’t lead to needed medical assistance.
Then there’s the flip side—you’re the one being manipulated, watching someone you trust and love lying straight to your face. This has led many people to spiral out of control, completely changing whom they are by making unhealthy life choices like drinking and indulging in drugs which could ultimately have grave consequences.
It’s important to not just see the signs but to always do something about them. If you are someone who has faced issues like this before, then you know how much of a toll it can take on your health. It can be hard to get out of that funk and it’s a battle to drag yourself out of bed to receive help but that’s what medical attention is for. There are many resources that are here to help and nowadays many urgent care companies are offering programs and treatments to recognize such things.
In life there are times when someone will break us and only, we can be the ones to put the pieces back together. It’s cruel and unfair but no one said it would be easy. The best and healthiest way to combat this is a simple lesson that we all learned in our youth—treat others the way you want to be treated and honesty is the best policy. It’s a simple rule to follow that will allow you to be your best self and live a proactive life.
* Legal disclaimer: The content of this article and the entire Chai Care blog is for educational purposes only; it does NOT constitute medical advice and must not be considered as such. Please consult a medical professional regarding any symptoms or health concerns you or your loved ones.